Hey L,
This Saturday, October 10th, we observe World Mental Health Day. Now, for a lot of people working on recovery, that might sound like it belongs to someone else. Mental health is for people dealing with depression or anxiety, right?
Recovery is about breaking bad habits and compulsive behaviors.
But here’s the reality: mental health isn’t separate from recovery. It’s at the center of it.
Recognize that most of us approach compulsive sexual behavior with one goal: stop acting out. So we count days, install filters, delete apps, avoid triggers, and try harder.
And while those things have their place, if “just stop” is the entire plan, we tend to skip right past the bigger questions.
- Why does my brain keep reaching for this?
- What am I actually feeling right before it happens?
- Why does feeling terrible about myself seem to make things worse instead of better?
- Is something else going on underneath that nobody has addressed?
So that’s what we’re doing this month. Each week we’ll look at one of those overlooked questions. Because the behavior is just the symptom, and this month is all about what’s underneath. That said, let’s start with the question that frustrates almost everyone:
If I know better, why do I keep doing it?
The truth is, chances are you don’t lack information. You know what p*rn does. You know what it costs your marriage, your faith, and your self-respect.
You’ve probably prayed about it, memorized verses, made promises to God and to yourself, and written down every reason to quit.
And then a difficult day hits.
Maybe you get rejected, criticized, overwhelmed, or just exhausted and alone late at night. Suddenly all of that knowledge feels a mile away. And afterward you’re left wondering how you could possibly have done it again when you meant it so sincerely.
But you did mean it.
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