Hey L,
If you’ve ever felt the weight of regret from engaging in unwanted sexual behavior, you know how disorienting it can be.
It’s that sense of disappointment, secrecy, and the longing to be different that can leave one spinning with questions like…
- What’s wrong with me?
- Why can’t I stop?
- Am I the only one like this?
- Will I ever be “normal?”
And often, right at the center of those swirling thoughts is something called shame.
This month we’re focusing on mental health, because what’s happening in your mind and body isn’t separate from your recovery. It’s at the heart of it. Last week we talked about why you can’t think your way out of a feeling problem.
And guess what?
Shame might be the biggest feeling problem of all, and it’s one of the most overlooked.
Understand that shame is silent and it’s suffocating. And while it may, in the moment, feel like an appropriate response after we mess up, it’s not the same thing as guilt or remorse.
This is because shame doesn’t tell you that you did something wrong. Rather, it leads you to the gnawing belief that you are what’s wrong.
Unfortunately, shame doesn’t just make you feel bad.
It’s more destructive than that because it distorts how you see yourself, others, and even your future. And when you carry that distortion as you try to heal, you can unintentionally sabotage your own growth.
So why does your brain do this to you?
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