Hey L,
All month we’ve been talking about freedom and how freedom isn’t the absence of struggle or the removal of guilt and shame. Rather, real freedom is the ability to choose.
Not react. Choose.
And, admittedly, that distinction sounds simple, but it’s actually the whole ballgame when it comes to recovery.
Because here’s the thing about compulsive behavior…
It rarely feels like a choice in the moment. It feels automatic. Something happens, a feeling shows up, and before you’ve even had a chance to think about it, you’re already reaching for the thing that gives you relief.
That’s not freedom. That’s a reflex.
And most people in recovery spend years mistaking their reflexes for their character, beating themselves up over something that was never actually a conscious decision in the first place.
So then how do you know the difference between freely choosing something and just reacting to it? You have to slow the moment down enough to actually see it. That’s what this is about.
Recognize that every compulsive behavior has a moment right before it. A trigger.
- Stress at work.
- A fight with your spouse.
- Boredom on a slow afternoon.
- Loneliness at 11pm when the house is quiet.
Whatever it is, that moment is where the real work happens, because that’s the last point where you actually have a say in what happens next.
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