Hey L,
Most men I've worked with have at some point decided what their struggle says about them.
They've named it, labeled it, and quietly accepted it as the truest thing about who they are. And often, that label sounds something like this: I am a person who can't stop doing this.
Maybe it's more specific for you such as…
- I'm a pervert.
- I'm broken.
- I'm someone with little faith.
- I have no self-control.
Maybe it's something even harder to say out loud because it's too painful to do so.
Whatever form it takes, the label does something really specific.
It shifts the conversation from behavior to identity. In other words, you stop thinking about what you're doing and start thinking about what you are.
And here's the thing...
That shift makes the shame worse. A lot worse.
As such, I want to offer you a different way to think about what's going on. Not to let you off the hook, per se, but to give you a more honest and more accurate picture of what's actually happening when the pull toward compulsive sexual behavior shows up.
What if it's not about sex at all?
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