Hey L,
Let's be honest, despite our best hopes and efforts, most kids/teens these days will end up having sex in some version (intercourse, p***, etc.) before marriage.
And yea, that includes Christians.
In fact, sometimes the "Christian" kids were some of the most sexually active ones when I went to college with.
To deny this reality is to live in complete denial.
But as a parent that can be very discouraging to hear. I get it. And so, the questions is… What can we do if anything to help prevent that from happening?
Well, three things to start with:
- Make sure you have conversations with your kids about these things.
- When you do, don't resort to scare or shame tactics.
- Appeal to their self-interest. In other words, what's in it for them if they do abstain?
Let me explain.
I'll be transparent with you. I'm a pastor, a Christian, and was also one of those "Christian" kids who had sex and looked at a whole lot of p*** before he got married.
I can't take that back.
But I wish I had heard more on this subject when I was younger because maybe it would have spared me some very difficult life lessons.
Don't get me wrong.
When I was growing up I DID hear a lot of religious reasons not to have sex, most of which boiled down to one central theme – God says don't do it. I also heard all the standard scare tactics like…
- You might get someone pregnant.
- You might catch an STD, etc.
But none of that worked with me. Despite all the threats of holy condemnation or ending up with a lifelong disease, I opted for the "forbidden fruit."
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