Over my almost 9 years in the field of mental health I've shifted how I look at and interact with compulsive behaviors. One of the most productive things I ever learned was to look for the unmet need behind the behavior.
Take for example the person who struggles with going to the fridge and reaching for food when they're not actually hungry. If we're able to pause long enough to examine our why, and what we're feeling in those moments, then we're able to notice the need that we're trying to meet with food!
Let's apply that to unwanted sexual behaviors.
Do you ever notice patterns as to when you might struggle more?
- Is it around a difficult anniversary?
- Is it around a holiday that brings up feelings of loneliness?
- Or is it when we feel the general feeling of loneliness maybe?
- What about after we were at an event that was a reminder of relationships or singleness?
Some of you might be familiar with the idea of a "trigger". A trigger is simply a reminder of a previous distressing event. This can be a person, place, or thing which, to be honest, is quite broad.
A trigger can be quite simple but can lead us down the rabbit hole of unwanted thoughts or behaviors that at times can feel impossible to stop.
Identifying that trigger is very important in the process of cycle breaking and can be a huge step in the process towards healing!
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