Does Marriage Make It Easier to Quit?

Hey L, Does this sound familiar? "When I get married, this whole porn watching thing should get so much easier!" If you are single there is a good chance you've thought this, or maybe still think this. If you are married there is a good chance you thought this at one time in past only to find out how truly wrong you were. Well, our friend Drew Boa shares some thoughts about this this in this week's post where he lays out three reasons why marriage does not make it easier to quit porn. Make sure you check it out! - Richard

Have you ever hoped marriage would be the solution to your sexual problems? Today, you will learn the surprising truth of what it's like to get married if you've ever struggled with pornography…hint: it's not what you think. Marriage does not necessarily make it easier to get free from porn. After I got married, I continued to struggle with pornographic fantasies—even on my wedding night. Those of you who are married know what I'm talking about. For those of you who are not married, I want to warn you and prepare you so that if and when you get married, you'll be ready. And in the meantime, you can appreciate the gift of your singleness even more. Here are three reasons why marriage does not make it easier to quit porn: #1. Your wife is not a sexual object. Sometimes people think, "When I get married, all my sexual desires and urges will finally have a God-approved place to go, in bed with my wife." The problem is you're still objectifying her. You're bringing a pornographic style of relating to your marriage. In other words, you're still making sex all about you. It's completely self-centered. You're not focused on your partner. You're thinking about yourself: "What do I want? When do I want it? How do I want it?" In porn, you get to be in control of all those things. In a real relationship, if you want to have a fantastic sex life, you have to think about the other person: "How can I love her? How can I serve her? What does she need right now?" You need to exhibit Christ-like character in your sexuality: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control. When you are filled with the Spirit, focusing on the other person, and you're both loving each other (not scheming about how you can get what you want and release your sexual urges), it unlocks a new level of intimacy, because that's how God designed it. God did not design your wife to be a sex doll for you.

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Btw, if you need a safe place to talk about this stuff and get some accountability make sure you check out Small Groups Online. If you are on our email list you can sign up to try Small Groups Online for just $1 (no deadline... this is an ongoing thing just for you). Listen, the stuff we talk about can be tough, just like this topic. The best thing you or anyone can do is to have a group of people in their life that they can share with, process, and journey with to a better life. Especially now! But that can be very hard to find. This is why Small Groups Online exists, to give you a safe place where you can find those people. Again, because you are on our list, if you've been thinking about joining a small group (or maybe it never occurred to you before) you can try one out for an entire month for just $1. And if you decide it's not for you, just cancel within the 1st 30 days and you'll never get billed again. Just use coupon code ONEDOLLAR at checkout. Go find your small group now!

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